the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Watching her eat just hurts me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
