yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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