What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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