if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
