They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
