Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
