I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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