If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
