i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
