Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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