Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
