do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
