Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
