how can u be prego again
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
BRING THE BAGELS
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
