i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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