I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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