I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
