before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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