Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
