judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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