woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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