Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
