That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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