I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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