he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm like, not good at living.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
