Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
