All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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