remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
even my farts smell like vagina
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
