i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
