Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
