Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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