thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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