I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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