Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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