just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
