I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
