Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Randomize
