ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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