they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize