stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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