BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
