I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize