Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize