remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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