You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
