You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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