Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
