Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
