turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
