In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
