I'm going to rape someone's good day.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
