Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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