i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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