is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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