just come out here and I will go home with you...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
