it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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