new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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