She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
how does that bad decision feel?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
