just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
