I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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