If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
