Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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