So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
pop tarts are not kleenex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
