The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
