My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
