he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
