she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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