I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
