Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
